Alchemists for my GLOG hack, and maybe fun alchemy tables for you.

Alchemists

EDIT FROM THE FUTURE- This post old, yeet

As opposed to wizards who use magic to manipulate the mundane, alchemists use mundane methods to manipulate magic. Some are scientists doddering around in imperial laboratories, others are wise herbalist women oft mistaken for witches, while still others are grim barbarians who know how to squeeze everything they can from a dead creature.

PERKS

Alchemy Skill

Each Alchemist template you have grants you an additional Inventory Slot in which you can store a Potion or Ingredient. You are welcome to fill other inventory slots with potions and ingredients as well, naturally.

You may also forage for Alchemical Ingredients when in the wild, rolling your Alchemy skill to find stuff, or purchase them in town for 100-1000 coins. This Ingredient is simply marked as 'Alchemical Plants' unless otherwise noted. You may also attempt to harvest parts from monsters, yielding things like 'Poison Monster Parts' from poison enemies, 'Fire Monster parts' from fire-breathing enemies, and similar minimalist descriptions, unless it's important to know that it's a 'Cockatrice Claw' and not just a 'Winged Monster Part' or 'Reptile Monster Part' or 'Petrifying Monster Part'

Other adventurers with the Alchemy skill are capable of this thing as well, but without an actual Alchemist with them they'll probably let it spoil before getting back to anyone who can use these parts. But Alchemists, not just people with the Alchemy Skill, have Secret Recipes that let them do all manner of things.

A- Bitter Medicine

B- Bane Bottler
C- Alchemical Tricks
D- Metaphysical Distillation

Bitter Medicine- You can heal someone of 1d4 HP damage with nothing but a few plants, alcohol, boiling water, and mortar and pestle. If you have an appropriate Ingredient, you can give extra saves against poison, disease, and, with stranger Ingredients, stranger ailments. If you heal someone like this more than once per day, they must save vs Poison or take 1d4 damage instead of healing or getting a save.

Bane Bottler- you get +1 to saves vs poison and disease per Alchemist template. You also gain the skill 'Biohazards' which lets you know about slime, molds, oozes, fungi, killer plants, and other weird biological terrors- and more importantly, how to weaponize and harvest them. With the right container and alchemy roll, you can take samples of these monsters for later, sinister, purposes.

You also learn how to create, for 100coins, a blood jelly, a tiny(at first) fist-sized jelly that's clear except for a red, spidery nucleus that wobbles around, eats organic matter, and won't eat anyone that contributed blood to its creation. Feeding potions and alchemical ingredients and similar to your blood jelly will either kill it or grant it permanent fabulous powers as the potions and ingredients mix and churn within it. Blood Jellies react to things roughly the same way humans do, so they're great lab rats. If it stays small, you can eat your blood jelly to get the stored potion benefit and take no harm. You can also feed blood jellies more and more to turn them into actual creatures with HD and everything. Blood Jellies get stronger the more matter they eat, smarter the more brains they eat, and more magical the more magical stuff they eat. They lose 10% of their weight each day, and gain 10% of whatever they eat in weight, and it takes an hour to eat something as big as they are. They have 1HD per doubling past 100 pounds and their default attack is sucking 1d4 points of blood per HD they have. 

Given 1000 pounds of meat, a fist-sized jelly takes about a day and a night to reach 100 pounds and 1HD.

Alchemical Tricks- This encompasses many, many cheap chemical tricks like

https://www.stevespanglerscience.com/lab/experiments/burning-money/

https://www.sciencecompany.com/Turn-Copper-Pennies-Into-Silver-and-Gold-Pennies.aspx

that are good for convincing rubes that you're doing magic or useful things when you really aren't. 

You can also create the following at negligible price given a few hours to scavenge around for Ingredients.

Alcohol(And Molotov Cocktails)

Lamp Oil

Salt

Glue

Grease

Gunpowder

Chalk

Ink

Soap

Metaphysical Distillation- Not content with physical ingredient, you've learned to distill abstract concepts and immaterial things, like guilt and souls and sunsets. This tends to be expensive and require creativity. Your Secret Recipes get weird fast if you throw a lot of this stuff in there, but with moderation it makes obvious potions MUCH easier to make. You can come up with an intended result like, 'Potion of Levitation' from a 'Flying Monster Part' and 'essence of flight' that you collected by having a trained bird carry a glass vial for a day long flight and bypass the Secret Recipe chart in favor of spending 100-400 coins and appropriate elements to just make a potion of flight.

Secret Recipes- By mixing together a maximum number of ingredients equal to your alchemist level, you can discover potions, poisons, and other vile concoctions. Each unique ingredient adds a 1d6 to the result roll, to a max of 1d6 per Alchemist Template, and you must keep track of what each combination of ingredients results in. Results count as 1 alchemical ingredient themselves. Doubles also add an Alchemical Hazard to the creation process, and Triples indicate a truly disastrous mixture and a roll on the Alchemical Doom table.

Secret Recipe Table

Potency=# of Ingredients -1 OR Alchemist level, whichever is lower.. Using Human as an ingredient is viable, though it may turn imbibers into Ghouls or Wendigo.

1. Food- a gelatinous, preserved something or other.
2. Water. Ignore mishaps.
3. Alcohol, tastes vaguely of other ingredients. Flammable and intoxicating.
4. Grease. Makes stuff waterproof and slippery.
5. Glue Makes stuff sticky.
6. Acid- deals damage equal to Potency/d6. Foiled by  one or more of glass, metal, stone, or organic stuff.
7. Venom- smeared on weapon. Deals Potency/d6 damage or debilitating effect for that many turns if a save is failed.
8. Poison- Ingested. Deals Potency+1/d6 damage or debilitating effect if a save is failed.
9. Recreational Drug- Enjoyable experience, applied via ingestion, injection, Inhalation
10. High Explosive- potency d6 damage on impact or fire.
11. Panacea- cures Potency- poison, disease, exotic status effects associated with monster.
12. Potion- Randomly determined, possibly related to ingredients, potion.
13. Unstable Mutagen- Grants mutation from monster bits for Potency Hours. Save or permanent.
14. Essence- Grants supernatural power from one Monster part for Potency Actions.
15. Consciousness Expander- Grants random Spell.
16. Something weird from here- http://goblinpunch.blogspot.ca/2017/06/adventuring-gear-alchemy-items.html
17. Alchemical Lifeform- tiny ooze, homunculous, or Chimera. Sort of cute, sort of grotesque, depending on ingredients.
18. Chimeric Mutagen- Destabilizes drinker. They Fuse with the next being they touch. creating a weird combo being.
19. Gemstone- Sparkling gem worth Potencyx100 Coins.
20. Alchemist's Ring- Magic Ring. Once per lifetime, otherwise 19.
21. Utmost Ingot- This stuff could make an amazing weapon/shield/crockpot/whatever.
22. Distilled Magic- Smear it on something. Instant enchantment.
23.  Pick any lower number.
24. Jackpot! You have discovered one of the 1,001 Philosopher's Stones, which turns lead to gold and dribbles a fluid of immortality. And a hideous Doom from a wizard school that takes effect as soon as the stone is used, so good luck.

Alchemical Hazards

1-Substance is highly volatile and prone to exploding for 1d6 if you take damage and fail a save.

2-Substance is highly addictive. If used twice in one week, get cravings and withdrawal unless you have it weekly. One sip convinces you to make as much as possible, and you must save to avoid using it as fast as possible.

3-Substance is highly smelly. 1 drop on you doubles wandering monster encounters.

4-Substance is highly reactive and cannot be used as an Ingredient.

5-Substance is toxic and reduces max HP by 1 whenever taken

6-Substance is mutagenic, permanently so on failed saves.

Alchemical Doom- depends on what number is rolled triples of. Only happens once per triple.

1-Bottle Fairy created. Is utterly charming and you cannot resist spending all your money on alcohol for it. It lives in a bottle and you hide it from others at all costs. Your madness ends only if someone eats the fairy, and it cannot die in any other way.

2- Aqua Regia- Acid that melts through anything. It burrows through the floor and burns down to a morlock inhabited city, where the leader's dong is melted off by the acid. They swear terrible revenge on the surface world and set their burrowing drill-cities to attack.

3-Blue Lotus- A single flower grows and blooms from the concoction. Its pollen lulls all nearby to sleep, and sends their consciousness to the dream lands.

4- Black Potion- A potion of utmost puissance and mystery. It grants 2 permanent magic dice to the imbiber, but incurs a magical Doom upon them. 

5- An artificial spell-form is created. It is elemental, capricious, dangerous, and lives in your head and causes havoc from within your mind. Can it be tamed, or are you pariah and outcast, a walking disaster.

6- Your quest for the Philosopher's Stone has lead you to dark research, and you are gripped by the belief you must transform, vivisect, repeat, the imbibers of this new potion you have created to reach the complex biological process required to metabolize and excrete the Philosopher's stone.